i have like 638 tbucks and im never really on here so i wanted to give them to the people who need them most or the people that comment on my blog. k so whoever wants them ill give em out. lol kk byebye
I havent blogged in such a long time on Tblogs. Lol Me and my friend Megzie we use to come on here like everyday and blog about like who we liked and stuff. It was really kinda pointless cause we use to comment on each others blogs and not very many other people would comment. Oh well. I just felt like coming back on here and seeing what i was thinking in the last year! Lol some of it is very hilarious. Like the fact that i use to have a crush on the biggest jerk in our school. Lol kinda funny! Now im going out with Zach, hes so awsome! Luv yaz lots Zach. Its kinda hard tho, cuz im kinda puting myself out there cuz i just got over a bad break up with Dylan. Man i loved him, its just like one of those guyz that got away right? He still likes me. It bugging me so much. Just thinking that i could go back and fix everything that went wrong... Man its stupid to even think of going back cuz he hurt me so much.... But I relle did Love him... Byebye
Here is the post where all you max pages fans put your comments. Please go to the bottom of this letter and look where is says view/add comments. Click on there and leave a comment on my web page. Put anything you like. Then make sure to go back to my site in a week to see what i wrote back to you. Please leave a name at the bottom of your comments. Doesn't have to be your name just like bob or sumthing... Thanks.
Its amazing how one simple act can hurt someone so badly. Then just one other jesture can make it all better. I think that you really shouldn't care what people think. I know like everyone says that. But its so true. Like Who cares what thoughts go into peoples minds? I like realized so much this week! The guy i like knows i like him. But really he hasn't changed at all. I thought he would like never talk to me again! Which is like so bad! But i like him. Thats my thought. But now he knows what i think. He can only think about what he thinks about me right. I could care less what he thinks about me really. I really think he hates me, but that my opinon. Like he acts nice around me and everything but that doesn't mean he likes me. Megz this is one bet your gonna lose! She bet me that if i asked Justin out that he would say yes. I bet her he would say no. I donno why i think so negativly all the time its so bad! Most of the time all the thoughts going through my head are all negative. Not about people. But about the world and how it copes with me ya know. I've learned alot this week. Its still not over!! But i think i can get through three more dayz. I just hope that Megz realisez that just because you are nice to someone doesn't mean that they like you. And because someone is mean to you doesn't mean they hate you. Back to the beginning... Its amazing how one simple act can hurt someone so badly. Then another can make you fall deeply in love!!
The dance last night was okay at the end. I found out that tons of people like Adamz! Everyone does. But I guess that’s okay. I doubt hell go out with any of us. But oh well. My friend Steph that likes him went right up to him and said " Your HOT" I could have never done that. Like seriously. I am just not like that. When I throw myself at people then end up hating me so I just play it cool. Steph also asked Adamz if hed dance with me. I told her she could go right ahead cause I know he’d say no. Obviously. He just said he didn’t feel like it. Well thats better than no I guess. Usually I would hear in another lifetime or sumthin mean like that. But other than that the dance was fun. I tried to get Mandi to dance with Dougall but he refused unless she asked him. But by the time she was going to the slow dance was over! Lolz But I guess that’s okay! I really hope they go out. They made such a good example of a relationship! Pluz they look so cute together!:p I really want a boyfriend now. I donno before I could care less but now I just want someone by my side you know. But its not like the guy I like will go out with me. He hhates me I know it. After what happened on Thursday night he probably thinks I am like so weird! But oh well. He can think what he wants I guess. I g2g byez!
This poem came from the inspiration on a site that had the title; Is This It. I just started getting words and thought i should write them down
Is this it for me? My life full of misery all gone down the drain. Was this meant to be?
I was never happy. In my home or at school. I would never be fooled to be anything more than cool.
My friends, They aren't my friends. My family, Isn't my family. And now my life Is dead,
Is this the end for me? My life is not full of misery? I can now lye peacful in bed Because now i am sleeping and i am dead.
That came to me. It has nothing to do with my life at all. I live a normal life of an 12 yr old girl. Please leave a comment. Or if you want me to post one of your poems i can do that for yaz to. Ill leave credits and everything...
I feel that I am always not showing the real me when I am with my friends. To my friends I am a goofy girl who doesn’t care about anything. But I do have feelings. Actually I am not like that at all. To me being goofy is just a way of well having fun. But everyone is just being so annoying about it lately. Like every comment is making me feel worse and worse about it. Just one person actually. She’s really nice but I don’t know why this one person is bothering me so much! But she is. I think I am actually going to show myself from now on. I tried it today. But to tell you the truth it was horrible. I felt sick like all day. I felt like I couldn’t do anything like I couldn’t have fun. But that’s really who I am inside. I am a sick little girl with hurt feelings, a broken heart. Shattered dreams. I feel so lonely though. I wish I could get a boyfriend that would d anything for me. Cause I know if he would do that for me, to care and love me, I would give him the world. But I don’t think I am going to find love any time soon, Or ever for that fact…
OMG! I haven't seen The Grudge yet but the next best thing is to go to their website! Go to www.doyouhaveagrudge.com and click enter website, The website is like a really creepy game. Its like your trying to care for your mom and you keep encountering the grudge! Its so scary! I was on the game for like an hour and still hadn't had enough. You have to play fi you ahevn't seen the movie. Trust me its scary. Theres alot of loading and waiting but its so worth it. Have fun and be carful when you go in the bathroom!
Dear Diary, Have you every felt like restarting life knowing the future as it is now.. But change it to make all your problems go away? I think people have thought about it once or twice, Well this is about my a millionth time. I hate my life. The relationship with most of my friends sucks and I just don't know how to cope with it. I mean most of the time i hear my friends talk behind my back right in front of me. Like what you heard in the column Evesdroping. But its worse than that. I was walking with one of my friends and they started talking about somehting that happened at school that someone did. She made bad remarks about it and said what that person did was stupid. But really they were talking about me! I said something about it, she got all embarassed about it. But you know you start to wonder who your real friends are after a while. I can't believe the progress i have made with some of my friends and then just i donno. Stop being friends with them.. Well you know barley see each other and don't talk as much. I found i did that with my good friend Katlyn! She and I were so much alike when we were little. We did EVERYTHING together. WE barley ever faught. I am just wondering now... what i would be like if i had stayed with her. Would i be happy. Would i be better off not knowing? But who can tell. I am worried about gettign caught in the wrong crowd when i go to high school. Its hard you know. My best friend smokes now. How do i know how she came to it. Maybe she was under so much presure she couldn't handle it and just started smoking. But i am scared. I am not good at desicions or being under presure. I just don't know what to do. I wish i could have a boyfriend. Maybe J.A but i highly doubt that will ever happen. Everyone says he likes me... But they don't hear what he says. I do. It hurts because i like him. But what do i even care. Its not like he cares. I wish he did though. Just call me up you know. Every girls dream.. That will not be complete.
Someday I hope that Renata will realise that her life will be ruined.. And that she will never forget how stupid she is being.. She lies to me about something that is serious, then ignores me. She promised she would stop smoking. She told my own mother she would. My mother is no perso to lie to. She'll never forget it... Never. I wrote Renata a letter. A five page letter than i wrote in small writing at 12 o'clock at night. I was tired but i was so devoted to helping her. But now over all. I wonder about very little about her. What has she done for me. She claims i am one of her good friends. Frineds are there to help each other. But god damit she is making my life miserable. I hope she knows that too. Because lying to me twice isn't going to be forgotten. But i think i might forget our firendship all together, Watch her die into an early grave. For it is her path she has chosen and I will not be apart of it at all.
Today it snowed!! I am so mad! I would rather it be summer forever than have that horribe snow covering the ground for four months! Lolz. The good thing is though. Is that it didnt snow that much! Thats a good thing. Lolz. That means if it is warm for like one day all the snow will go away. I have never been this negative about snow on the ground. But i guess its just that i won't get to go skiing this year with the school cause the local ski hill is going to be closed! Thats sucks so much. Its my last year there and the best thing that the school does (skiing) is canceled. It really sucks. Anyways, Nothing is really new with me. Oh if you read this, Trinda! Happy Birthday!!! You rock! Lolz oh yeah and Adams Birthday is tomorrow! Happy Birthday to you to! Lolz. He probably won't get the message! I got to go now. I really don't have anything else to say. But if i think of something ill tell yallz
Have you been crushing on that one special person. Who you just have to look at for no aparent reason? Don't worry i ahve the same thing going on. But i don't think anythings ever goign to happen between us. My friends think there is a big spark but i can say different. People say we flirt or have connection. I just think that we may be just friends. Even though i would like it to be more. Way more. But who am I to say wehat will happen. My friends think something good. I am thinking maybe not having a crush on him anymore. I donno. Its hard to say in this world of Love! But when your in Love your happy! Thats all i know. Unless he guyz a jerk. If he is then you don't need him..
Today at the end of the day i was getting my stuff ready to go on the bus. I happen to be close enough to K.C's locker to hear what she was saying to Justin ( The guy i like ) She said that she thought that he liked me. I was dying to hear the answer but not for long.... What he said was terrible. He started making puking noises! I felt really horrible! I mean i really like this guy! And i donno if he even saw me almost right behind him. My friend Megz seems to think that any guy would react that way. But i don't think so. To most guyz they just find me annoying and bitchy. I hate that you know they never want to get to knwo the real you. I mean i saw right through him. Hes really mean around his friends but then really sweet when hes not! I could find the real him! Why couldn't he find the real me?
Today was the worst! Well okay my day was great just until I got home. I was trying to get ahead of my class and do an art project. After that I asked my parents for some volleyball pointers because I really can’t serve all that well. They were teaching me and suggested that a hacky sack or a small ball might help. So I went up into my room, and when I peered into my guinea pigs cage I found my guinea pig curled up in a corner…. Dead. I called my mother up right away, my father followed because of the sound of my paniced voice. He took her out and put her in a bad, my mother who had locked herself in the bathroom crying. She was the saddest out of all of us. She loved that guinea pig a lot! Well I did too but I told you before I never cry that much. It was weird though cause she wasn’t being herself for the last three days. She was getting really slim and her water wasn’t going down at all. I knew this day would come sooner or later. I wish it had come later! R.I.P Mocha We loved you with all our hearts
I miss my best friend Ryan! When he went to my school we never talked much. But i had feelings for him for quite a while. But when he moved away it riped my heart out, even as the status just friends. I miss him so much! He was the kind of guy that hung around girls but was really sweet and kind. The other day i was going through my jewelry box and i found a lighter that he had given me on the last day that we were together, When i found it i felt like crying! It was so sad, all these thoughts ran through my head. I know that for as long as he is gone i will miss him! Speaking of lighters, i finally got my friend Renata to stop smoking! Last night at the dance she gave me her lighter! I was so happy. I threw it in the garbage right away. I really hope she stops smoking! It would be so great! I mean i have seen almost all my grandparents die of lung cancer i don't think i could ever see one of my best friends do the same thing! When she told me i started to cry to. She was hte type of person that did her own thing and never listened to what people said. And i thought she was so cool because of it. Then she started smoking? I knew i had to stop her some how! I secceded in doing it to! I luv yaz Renata!
Yeah okay i know. I shouldn't ahve been friends with her again! Wait oyu probably don't know what ia m talkign about. Lets start fromt eh beginning! Today on msn i talked to Renata the one thats started smoking. I still think she is a retard for even tryign it. But i think i got it into her head that it really isn't cool to smoke! It isn't! My wise cousin once said that, " it a disgusting dirty smelly habbit and it will get you no where but in dept for the rest of your life!" Thanks Laura! Anwyays i told her to stop and she said she would try her best. But the only way she would stop is if i would be her firend. So i agreed. I mean the only reason i stopped being friends with her was because she started smoking. So if she stops i guess i have another friend. Its been really hard going through all this stuff about smoking. But as long as i have changed someones life by not smoking i couldn't be happier. Oh yeah did i neglect to tell you i stopped someone else form smoking. I did bad from it but it was a good reason I said that if he didn't stop smoking that i would phone his house and tell his parents! Lolz i am mean. But he was once a guy i had a major crush on. I couldn't just watch him ruin his life~ anyways i g2g bye!
I have to let all my anger out right now, even though i am not really mad, i just ahve all this stuff built up in me and i think the best way to let it out is on tblog. I hate being me. Everyone sees me as this over hyper freak. But i'm not that at all. may act that way at school with my friends but i really can have a serious conversation with someone. everyone thinks that i am so hyper active that i don't see when they are making fun of me. Personaly when someone says that your stupid because of your hair color, first i find them stupid next i fnd them rasist. I mean its true, just because someone is different and you amke fun of them it is rasisim. No matter in what kind of way you wnat to put it, making fun of balck people, peoples religon the place they live in. Its all rasism. I am a blonde and i think that nobody really know what its like to ahve everyone make fun of you because you ahev blonde hair. Personally i like my hair, blonde is a very pretty shade for hair. But when people start being stupid about everyones charactistics then it gets to the point of being annoying and degrading. Its like saying that people that have green eyes have a higher risk of dying. Its stupid imagine people goign up to you fi you ahev green eyes and saying hahaha your going to die because of the way you look! Theres so many things that just don't make sense in this world! Its stupid! If you wnat to make sense of thigns you have to test it on different things. Liek i did with the blonde ahir thingy and the green eyes. See its stupid and it has no thery around it. So therefore don't use it. I know people think its funny and stuff. But its really not. I mean i am strong i can take a joke but if you ever did that to other people. Imagine how they would feel!
Btw. Some of the information in this text is not all completly true the thingy about the green eyes is not true. Just for future reference, just incase people didn't undersatdn what i meant. You know don't nwat be goign crazy because they are going to die! Lolz
Dear Diary, You know when someone tells you that your best friend has talked behind your back and called you a bitch... Trust me its nothing compared to reading it yourself. I just went onto my best friends tblog and she had a whole page of making fun of me. Everything, when i read it i just broke down. I couldn't breath. I felt that something had just changed and made the world stop spinning. I feel so bad. I know it happened along time ago in one of our major fights, but when you find something that says all those things that you never knew, you almost wish you had never became a person. I donno. our friendship was always great, but we are two different people so its hard to cope. But i have always liked her, sometimes i feel like puunching her in the face when she pisses me off, but that doesn't mean a thing. But when i read that, just everything changed. It hurts alot! Don't ever write public journals about other people, especially if they know the address.
Halloween is coming up in about two weeks and i ahve no clue what to be. I don't want to be something orignal like a witch. I want to be something different from all the rest. I thought about it, and since i have my new dog maybe i could go as Dorthy from the wizard of oz. I have the same type of dog it would be perfect! I talked it over with my mom though and she said that it wouldn't be good for the dog with all these kids running around. Especially if i walked into a house with other dogs! Lolz. But i seriously don't know what to be. Some of my friends are going as homeless people. Its a great idea but i don't wnat to steal it form em. Can you guyz help me out a little! Please! Thanks Luv Yaz StEpH*
Dear Diary, I have a really bad cold. Right now i am in school. Waiting for my teacher to start teaching and i am coughing my ass off! Lolz. I would stay home but i just find that right now i have so much work going on in school that if i miss a day then i would have alot of homework to catch up on. So i think i am going to stay in school for a while and learn. Werll whatever this stupid school is teaching us! Anyways g2g bye!
Okay he didn't really leave for good. The odd time i get to talk to him on msn. Which is really cool. I can talk to him about alot of things that i can't talk to my other friends about. Latley alot of things have been bothering me. My friend has just got into the world of smoking and drugs. I don't think she is on drugs but she did admitt that she smokes. The thing that i ahte the most is that she thinks its cool. I don't thik i can stand it any longer. I expected so much from her. Oh yeah did i neglect to tell you that she is doing this over some stupid guy. She likes a guy that smokes so she goes and smked too? Its stupid! I haev seen my parents smoking for years and its so stupid! I see them dying more and more each day. I can't do anything about it!
I think i can't be her friend anymore. I tried to help her out by trying to get her to stop smoking and she promised she would. Then she phones me the next day and says she can't. I mean i was willing to help her try and stop because its so difficult. But she told me she couldn't stop because she didn't nwat to! Now that is really low. The way i see it. Is what is a relationship with a friend if you can't help them out? If everytime you try and help them they don't listen. To tell you the truth. There is no reason to be friends with her naymore. I thik thats what i ahve to do. But if you guyz have a suggestion just comment!
Dear Diary, My friend is moving away for good! He said he was gonna come and see me some times but i am thinking i am never gonna see him again. I haven't known him for all that long, he came into my grade 6 class after he had failed. But i guess the reason i don't want him to move is because i hurt him really really bad! I went out with him for like two hours and already i had been getting weird feelings. hes a really nice guy, but nobody i know sees the real him, they think of him as a goof off. But hey we are only 12.... who isn't? But i felt like no one would except me if i went out with him. So i freaked and dumped him. To make it any worse then it already was, i lied about it too! I said that one of my friends called my house and said oh stephie hows your boyfriend doing? and when she realised she wasn't talkign to me her and my parents had a long talk about my boyfriend. After i got my friend on a three way call with my boyfriend and me and she acted guilty. I said that she called my house, told my parents, and because my parents hafd never met him, they forbid me to go out with him. I cried all that night. I mean i really liked this guy. But what could i do?
& nbsp;Today i have decided to make another blog site. I have totally ruined this one. So if you guys wnat to visit my new site you are more than welcome.
